Business Cards

Every time I walk into an establishment I grab a business card. I almost never use this card to contact said establishment later, I just keep it with all of the other cards I have. There is absolutely no reason for me to be doing this, aside from the odd joke about me having a card for “My Shaman” etc.

So why in the world do I do this? Well, I just like to, and business cards can be useful. I know several (okay more than that) businessmen (people) who would get sick to their stomach at the idea of taking in more business cards than they already do. I’m sure many people routinely purge their business cards either from their systems entirely or import them into something digital and forget them. I don’t have enough business interactions nor do I walk into enough establishments that have prominently displayed cards for that to be necessary.

I (as with many things I acquire) like having them. But in this case I “can” (should I want to) use them later as well. When indexed properly I can easily find businesses or people in whatever area I’m in that I frequently go to and find contact info or even business hours (and since I’m in the middle of nowhere and many places have no web presence it’s sometimes the only way to find out information like that). And sometimes they are wacky and unique (see “Shaman” above), or pieces of art. But many times they are good examples of what not to do on a card, and upon occasion something you can point to as the best way to make a card ever (that would be my business card, I’m sure of it).

As far as collections go, this one is nice because it doesn’t take up much space and some people can understand why you would want to keep information easily available. And sometimes I realize I’m just a graphic design junkie and I like having all of the styles, sizes, and materials available for reference or brain training or something similar. The cards just look pretty sometimes, which just cements their place in my collections.

How To: Move

Moving is a precarious process that the majority of people with lives and things to do will have to go through at some point in their lives. That’s why it’s very important to not plan it out at all and to make as many mistakes as possible.

In order to move, one must first go to their local Wal-Mart (it must be Wal-Mart, no matter how far away the nearest one is) and buy $100 dollars’ worth of boxes (Not including tax). Start from the largest sizes and work your way down, being sure to not have a cart so your arms are constantly filled and your motor skills impaired.

Go back to the place where you are moving from, and crumple up any documents and papers you have to use as packing material. If you don’t have enough, go back out and purchase some. Then grab all of the things you own (make sure they are indeed your things) and place one in each box, then fill the boxes with the packing material and staple them shut.

Now go and rent the biggest trailer at the local trailer-renting place. Then decide you aren’t comfortable with the trailer and get a truck. Drive it back home and get a snack, (you’ve earned it). Watch TV for the rest of the day.

Get up early the next day and load all of the boxes carefully into the truck and close it, making sure things don’t move around too much when it’s moving. Drive the truck to the gas station and fill it up. Then remember you have no place to move to. Get a snack.