Moving is a precarious process that the majority of people with lives and things to do will have to go through at some point in their lives. That’s why it’s very important to not plan it out at all and to make as many mistakes as possible.

In order to move, one must first go to their local Wal-Mart (it must be Wal-Mart, no matter how far away the nearest one is) and buy $100 dollars’ worth of boxes (Not including tax). Start from the largest sizes and work your way down, being sure to not have a cart so your arms are constantly filled and your motor skills impaired.

Go back to the place where you are moving from, and crumple up any documents and papers you have to use as packing material. If you don’t have enough, go back out and purchase some. Then grab all of the things you own (make sure they are indeed your things) and place one in each box, then fill the boxes with the packing material and staple them shut.

Now go and rent the biggest trailer at the local trailer-renting place. Then decide you aren’t comfortable with the trailer and get a truck. Drive it back home and get a snack, (you’ve earned it). Watch TV for the rest of the day.

Get up early the next day and load all of the boxes carefully into the truck and close it, making sure things don’t move around too much when it’s moving. Drive the truck to the gas station and fill it up. Then remember you have no place to move to. Get a snack.