So… I was Hitting Myself in the Face with a Golf Club

So I was hitting myself in the face with a golf club. I’m not sure why, I think someone paid me to do it. I don’t remember now. I then started wandering off to the green. I fell down and stared at the sky, wondering just why I had been hitting myself in the face. For the first time, I realized just how many options I had. I realized I could have not hit myself in the face, I could have hit someone else in the face. I could have jumped off the cliff near the green.

There were so many possible things I could do. So many possible paths in life, each one infinitely affecting every other process in the universe. I rolled over and stared at the grass. If I had decided to pluck enough of it it might die. And then some grass feeding animal in the future might die, or have to go to a greener pasture. And that animal going to that greener pasture might displace some other animal which would create a travel trail, and then someone might follow it a build a house. And who even knows what could happen from there.

I was amazed at the possibilities. I got up and looked around. All the different worlds that could happen from the most minor of decisions. I ran to find someone, anyone to tell them about my new enlightenment. But no one was there. That was no problem. I knew how much I affected the world now. How much each and every decision I and everyone else made affected the very fabric of everything.

I ran off. I knew everything now. I could see the future that I could create. It was a wonderful feeling.

Man, people should hit themselves in the face with golf clubs more often.

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