Category Archives: So…

So… My Internet Went Down

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Several nights ago I was uploading some comics to the internet. Then suddenly, (dramatic music) the internet stopped working. Just dead stopped with no indication as to why. I was suddenly alone in the world. And as I desperately tried to reconnect to the internet to upload those comics I found my self wondering if I really wanted it to come back up. Did I really want to have the ever-present internet available again? I wasn’t sure. I sat back for a moment and wondered what my life would be like without the annoyances of the internet. After a few moments of thinking I realized how stupid said thoughts were and went back to trying to reconnect my internet.

So, Beck Released an new single

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What the hell, when did that happen? I guess I wasn’t paying attention to Beck, I was to busy being disappointed by Sublime and The Ting Tings; wondering how in the world Modest Mouse is going to record songs with Big Boi (which they’ve already done, apparently) and why Franz Ferdinand isn’t saying anything about the new album they’re working on. Oh, and I was also busy being pumped for the new Jukebox the Ghost album.

But, Beck did in fact release a new single, I’ve got it in my hand. It feels strange to be holding a freshly pressed 7″. I have new 12″ers, but those seem like they’d be more profitable in this day and age. No matter, because even though I bought the record, Third Man still didn’t give me a way to download it and I had to buy it again off Itunes.

Well, was it worth it. The B-side “Blue Randy” wasn’t, I’ll tell you that off the bat. It’s the disappointing, droning Beck I though we’d rid of when Sea Change came out. That’s when his droning got less disappointing. But really, it seems different from past efforts, maybe it will grow on me like Mutations did, but until then I’d skip the B.

But what we’re really here for is the A-side, right, those are ones that are remembered, except when they aren’t and the B-side becomes the hit. But that won’t be the case with “I Just Started Hating Some People Today”, because it is far superior to “Blue Randy”. The song has Beck going to country (and then devolving into chaos by the song’s end) which I must say I quite enjoy. Beck’s sense of humor is back, and the new country tune brings him closer to his folk roots. It’s like an extremely polished song from One Foot in the Grave or Steropathetic Soulmanure. It makes me smile to hear somehow cohesive nonsense from Beck again, no matter how much I liked Modern Guilt, Sea Change, Mutations, and to some extent The Information (on seriousness, not liking) it’s always fun to hear that. The song is thoroughly enjoyable and entirely Beck, just with a country spin. Every album Beck has done so far has evolved in songwriting and into a new genre, and this is a great jump in both directions. It’s country-Beck is all I really have to say about it and if that sounds appealing to you, then give it a listen, the A-side is worth the dollar (or eight if you buy the single {including shipping}).

I hope the new inevitable Beck album keeps up this vibe and that Third Man can continue to release Beck albums (with digital copies included).

By: Austin Smith

So I didn’t like the Hitman: Absolution trailer “Attack of the Saints”

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By: Austin Smith

*warning* Kinda inappropriate, but so is the trailer.

The Trailer for the new Hitman game came out, and something about it just rubbed me the wrong, way, so I’m going to watch it again and tell you what I find wrong with it. This is almost unedited so bear with me. It also helps if you’ve seen the trailer because I’m not going to write down times or anything.

Yes, this may contain inappropriate content.

You’d think it would take more then a band-aid for a shoulder gash like that.

Why are we focusing so much on the nuns chests?

Why the stilettos? That barely makes sense.

You might want to check on that band-aid on your head. Blood pouring from your cranium is generally not a good sign.

Whoa, I get where the SMG came from, but an RPG really! Did she just pull that out of a car I didn’t see pass by, because she didn’t pull it out of her ass.

Oh, the gloves are on now.

Whoa, maybe she did. This is where I start to dislike this trailer, I mean really, why latex. I understand that a nun getup might not be beneficial in a gunfight, but at least it might obscure your form. Latex that barely covers you is pointless, especially when it’s going to rain. Do “sexy” getups help you fight your enemies. And why are they “sexy” nuns anyway, does the Hitman series just have a roaming group of killer nuns. Why? I mean the only Hitman game I played had me going around impaling people on meathooks for twenty minutes before my friend came back and we went bowling. Are these nuns reoccurring characters? If not, why? There is no need for them to be here, let alone dressed like that, I’m almost offended. These assassins suck at their jobs.

Oh, I talked so much I missed the coin he pulled out of his head or something.

You know maybe standing in your “sexy” formation and blowing up the room with and RPG is not a good way to maintain cover, or not be seen, or just flat out killed. Hey look, he’s already killing them, like the shrapnel wouldn’t have already.

For assassins they really don’t notice when people get killed behind them do they.

I’m not sure he just fired enough rounds to kill all but two of them.

Nice covered up-skirt and machine-gun shot; he lied.

You’d think she would have thought about him grabbing the barrel.

Are rosaries effective strangling devices?

Oh, unrealistically broken nose.

Yeah, I bet those latex outfits are helping you fight now.

Okay, there is no way that at that distance, a rifle bullet packed by a professional assassin would just stop inside a person. They are both dead now, game over.

Bull***T, he should be dead, or at least suffering for several more bullet wounds.

He shot first, or something.

Thats an awesome car.

No I don’t care that he closed her eyes.

Well, that sucked. I mean really, nuns, why? Just so they could do that lame title. And why sexualize them. It’s not because they weren’t nuns and the disguises were cumbersome, or they would have taken their wimples off. They were just bad assassins. Or it was just an offensive marketing campaign with a stupid title for a mediocre game. That’ll be it.